You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
