Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
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