he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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