I want you more than these girls want KFC
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
