The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
