The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
