your room smells of hookers.
And success
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
