Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
