u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
