normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize