This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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