So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
