I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
