We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
