The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize