it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
