i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just want to make out with him forever
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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