i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
