It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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