They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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