Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
