I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
