Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
foreskin is a definite game changer
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
