ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
