i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
