If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
