i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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