If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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