I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
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