my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
