yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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