k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
