that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
