I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
