Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
