wake up i wanna do it froggy style
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
