My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
