what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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