Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize