So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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