with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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