the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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