first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
