Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
