i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
