I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
