Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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