Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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