Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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