I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Randomize
