i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We had to coat check the pizza.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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