btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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