i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
