It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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