I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
