if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
