I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
