bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
There's always time for handjobs
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
40s are totally the cure
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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