if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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