He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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