For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
