I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
