It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
And then my night got REAL pukey
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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