You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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