OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I need to calm my uterus...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
