how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
