i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
so much tequila, so little girl.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
