3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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