I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We have started to decorate penises.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
