tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
