I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
