We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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