Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Even my vagina gasped.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
