its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I came so hard my ears popped.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
