coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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