How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
