This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
