I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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