I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
