I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
and she was petting her beer can
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
