i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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